I was on FaceBook a few days ago scrolling, reading, laughing and commenting on my friends, family and “FB friends” posts. The latest challenge on FB is “I’m old as…” – you feel in the blank according to what you remembered back in the day, based on your age.
I put my little two cents in by saying that, ” I’m Vicks Salve on the chest and swallow some when you have the flu, old!” It was a great memory to share and I ultimately received tons of comments, laughs and “me too” responses. This old-school cultural remedy was used by my Grandmother and Mother when I was sick, as comfort for my aching body. No, it probably wasn’t healthy to “swallow” Vicks Salve, but it was what my elders knew at the time that worked.
As I was reminiscing about my maternal memories, I also noticed that people started posting Mother’s Day comments. Some were wishing everyone a “Happy Mother’s Day” and others were saying “Happy Heavenly Mother’s Day” to others whose mothers have passed on. Including their own.
Laughing about my maternal Grandmother’s old-school remedies, quickly turned to sadness, because I realized how deeply I missed her. Her laugh. Her smile. Her dress. Her hats (and she would wear her signature hats on Sunday). I miss that.
Then I started thinking about my paternal grandmother. Her dainty tea cakes she made for me when I visited. Her genuine care for me becoming a “lady.” Her wisdom at the age of 100yrs. And my husband’s maternal grandmother, who convinced me and my husband that we were meant for each other. I smile and miss them dearly.
I thank God every day that my mother is alive today. I get to see her, touch her, speak with her and love her on a daily basis. Our relationship hasn’t been perfect, no one’s is, but I would take a bullet for this woman! FB is another avenue for us to communicate, as my mother is a FB professional! LOL 🙂 (love you mom).
I also thank God for my mother in law. I don’t see or speak with her on a daily basis, but I love her with all my heart (she helped me raise my son BJ and nick-named me “Anna Mae” after hearing me sing in church). I bet you didn’t know that’s Tina Turner’s legal name! I know that one day I will miss them too.
Mother’s Day is rough
As soon as I realized that I’m blessed to have Mother’s that I can still have relationships with, I also realized that their are people out there whose relationships are gone.
I haven’t experienced the direct loss, but I still say, “Mother’s Day is rough.” Losing my Grandmother’s were rough. Losing a God Mother is rough. Losing a family member or friend who are Mother figures are rough. Losing a Church Mother is rough. Losing our precious jewels called Mother will always be rough.
This day that our country chooses to cherish and love on our Mother’s is also a day that other people hate. It brings out bad or sad memories of motherhood. Unfortunately, everyone wasn’t blessed to have a loving relationship or a relationship at all with their Mother. Some women want to become Mother’s and sadly they can’t. They have nothing to be happy about in their mind.
How to get through Mother’s Day
My son was born 24 years ago. God blessed me to have a son, even when I didn’t think I would ever have kids. When I look at him today, I can truly say I’m proud! God entrusted me and his Dad to raise a son in a world where it’s difficult for any man (especially Black) to thrive in. Me? Wanda? A Mother? God said yes.
I’ve had plenty of help raising him. All of his Grandmother’s, Great Grandmother’s, Aunts, cousins and friends had a big hand in helping me. I thank God for them everyday. Being a mother is not easy. It’s rough. No one’s perfect. But I also know that God doesn’t make mistakes when it comes to being a Mother. I wouldn’t change a thing.
He gets to decide who gives birth, who adopts, who fosters, who’s a step, animal loving mother or just a mothering mentor. He decides who gets to go on this tiring, crazy, love-hate, high-low journey called Motherhood!
If you are out there with your heart hurting because you’ve lost your mother or a mother figure, please know that God sees and hears your pain. Maybe your Mother is sick or died recently. Or you’ve tried to have a baby of your own and you can’t seem to conceive. It’s ok to cry and feel sad about it. I would bet that you curse God sometimes for taking them away. You may have pulled away from Him out of anger. He knows…
However, I also know that God would love to fill the void of your loss. I believe that He wants you to cling to Him at this time more than ever. He’s your joy in this time of sorrow. Allow Him to heal you and become your mother figure now.
Thanksgiving for God’s Comfort
2 Corinthians 1:3-4 says, “Blessed is the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, 4 who comforts us in all our troubles so that we may be able to comfort those experiencing any trouble with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. ” (NET)
Allow God to comfort you, so you may be of comfort to others. This is how to get through your rough Mothers Day.
Are you currently experiencing this pain? How are you able to comfort yourself or others? Share your thoughts in the comments.