Why my heart hurts for our country….

why my heart hurts for our country

Another senseless killing of 12 innocent people has happened in our country… 

In the non-violent city of Thousand Oaks, CA., Ian Young, a 28-year old, marine vet,  gunned down a 29-year veteran police officer, who was set to retire the next day, along with 12 others at the Borderline Bar & Grill dance hall on Wednesday, Nov 14, 2018. At the end of it all, Ian was the 13th person found among the dead from a self-inflicted gun shot wound. 

Looking back on his life, neighbors and acquaintances said he suffered from PTSD due to serving nearly five years as a military machine gunner in Afghanistan. We should be celebrating his service for our country, but instead his mother was afraid of what he might do. Unfortunately, a mental health expert chose not to commit him. 

Blah, blah, blah – this is deja vu all over again! Frankly, my heart hurts and I’m sick of it…

Unfortunately, our country has become desensitized to this type of behavior. Every day that we live and breathe, there’s someone who has taken liberty to kill, steal and destroy the lives of innocent people and their loves ones. 

Why my heart hurts

THOUSAND OAKS, CA - NOVEMBER 08: Molly Esterline is hugged by David Crawford on scene after a shooter wounded seven Wednesday night on November 8, 2018 in Thousand Oaks, California. The gunman burst into the bar around 11:20 p.m., cloaked in all black as he threw smoke bombs and began shooting at targets as young as 18 inside the Borderline Bar
THOUSAND OAKS, CA – NOVEMBER 08: Molly Esterline is hugged by David Crawford on scene after a shooter wounded seven Wednesday night on November 8, 2018 in Thousand Oaks, California. The gunman burst into the bar around 11:20 p.m., cloaked in all black as he threw smoke bombs and began shooting at targets as young as 18 inside the Borderline Bar

People who commit these crimes are angry, feel slighted, mistreated, abused, disrespected and invisible. They also seem to feel a sense of entitlement and don’t have a problem speaking their mind, when it comes to racial, political or biased views. 

Yes, we all have first, second, third, etc. amendment rights to speak our minds, protest when laws are unfair or unjust and carry a firearm to protect ourselves from harm! Ian purchased his .45-caliber handgun legally. However, our society doesn’t condone murder when one can’t resolve life issues. What about the rights of others who don’t feel or believe the same? What rights do we have to hurt or kill them? 

My heart and soul hurts for this country and our world as a whole… 

Where’s the light at the end of the tunnel? 

The common question asked after all senseless killings boils down to one thing. Where is God in all of this?

Ian’s last post on Facebook said:  “I hope people call me insane… (laughing emojis).. wouldn’t that just be a big ball of irony? Yeah.. I’m insane, but the only thing you people do after these shootings is ‘hopes and prayers’.. or ‘keep you in my thoughts’… every time… and wonder why these keep happening…”

What must he have been truly thinking when he wrote this! He’s probably seen all the millions of other FB posts that friends, family and strangers (including me) have posted when the same thing has occurred all over this country. “My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family”…  Ditto. Ditto. Ditto. Then our lives continue on putting the next tragedy behind us. Sad but true!

He must have felt that our meaningless words and thoughts were mockeries against God. They are “just something to say” instead of saying “nothing at all.” Wow, what a wake up call!

God knows our hearts and he knows when our words of comfort are indeed meaningless. I’m not saying that our FB posts and comments lack compassion or hurt for our fellow man, but I believe that as long as it’s not happening in our back yards, we can’t truly understand their pain. 

Where is God in all this mess?

Where is this light? I’m a firm believer that God allows things to happen to get our attention. When our country takes God out of everything we do and say, he has a way of not letting us forget who He is. He’s waiting for us to turn from our wicked ways and turn back to Him! We have tons of examples in His word. 

Unfortunately, we currently live in a sinful world that Satan thrives in. But I say that to say, when tragedies happen to us in the form of mass destruction, what tends to happen?

  • Do we fall apart or do we fall together?
  • Do we love less or do we love more?
  • Are we functioning individually or as one body together for change?
  • Have we cursed God or prayed for healing?

Yes, we do fall apart and love less out of anger, bitterness and resentment. Sometimes, we curse God and ask why he allows this to happen? But, other times we come back to God by praying for healing and forgiveness of our sins. Ultimately, something good comes out of tragic times and hardships when we take a stand together. Our dark, clouded vision of God is now clear. Just ask Job about the light

Was Ian right? 

Her son died in the massacre, but she doesn’t want your thoughts and prayers…

There’s some truth to his mindset. We must make our “thoughts and prayers” comments more than just lip service. I believe Ian and this mother’s son who died felt it’s a joke! Believers of Jesus Christ have a duty to make this country and the world we live a better place. We have to prove Ian wrong and start doing!

Just look around. Violence has reached our rich, suburban areas of society just as much as our inner-city lower economical areas. Satan doesn’t care about color, race, creed or economic status – he just cares about destroying as many lives as quickly as he can.

By stamping out racial, political and economical divisions, we can change the hateful hearts and minds in this world. When we show love and kindness to our fellow man, it changes hearts. When we pray for our leaders of this country instead of cursing them, we follow Gods word. 

And when our loved ones and friends are screaming out in mental pain, we shouldn’t deny or throw them away, but believe them and get help. Mental illness and depression are real. Just ask David.

May God be with us all,

Wanda