I remember sitting in my car in a parking lot, unable to go inside.
Not because I didn’t want to. But because I didn’t know how to walk through those doors and pretend everything was fine when everything was very clearly not fine.
Life had fallen apart in the way that doesn’t make sense. The kind where you’ve done everything right — prayed, believed, trusted, waited — and the bottom still dropped out. And there I sat, in a parking lot, trying to figure out how to make my face do the right things so nobody would ask questions I didn’t have answers to.
Maybe you know that parking lot.
The Part Nobody Talks About
Here’s what I’ve noticed about hard seasons:
We talk about them after. When we’re on the other side and God has redeemed the story and we can wrap it up in a bow and say He was faithful. We love those stories. We share those testimonies. We cry at those Sunday services.
But nobody talks about what it feels like in the middle.
When you’re still in the parking lot. When the prayer feels hollow. When you open your Bible and the words just sit there on the page not doing anything. When someone says God has a plan and you want to believe them but you’re so tired that you just… can’t.
When faith feels fake.
Not because it is. But because you are so deep in the dark that you can’t feel anything — including God.
What I Want You to Know First
Before I say anything else I need you to hear this:
Feeling like your faith is fake is not the same as your faith being fake.
Feelings are real. But they are not always truth.
There have been moments in my own life where I felt nothing. No peace. No presence. No sense that God was anywhere near my situation. And in those moments I was convinced something had gone terribly wrong with my faith.
But here’s what I’ve learned — sometimes God is doing His deepest work in the seasons that feel the most silent.
The seed doesn’t feel like it’s growing when it’s underground in the dark. But the darkness is exactly where growth happens.
When Job Lost Everything
I think about Job a lot when life falls apart.
Here was a man who loved God genuinely — God Himself said so. And in what felt like moments, he lost everything. His children. His health. His wealth. Everything.
And his friends — bless their hearts — showed up and told him he must have done something wrong. That if his faith was real this wouldn’t have happened. That God rewards the righteous and surely Job had some hidden sin somewhere.
Sound familiar?
We do this to ourselves too. When life falls apart we start searching for what we did wrong. What we didn’t pray enough. What sin opened the door. What faith failure brought this on.
But Job hadn’t done anything wrong. And God never once told him why.
What God did instead was show up. Right in the middle of the mess — not after it was cleaned up, not once Job had figured out his theology — God showed up and said I am here. I am God. And I’ve got this.
That’s still what He says to you today.
What to Do When You Can’t Feel It
I’m not going to give you five easy steps to fix your faith. Because faith in a hard season isn’t something you fix. It’s something you hold onto — even when holding on looks like a whisper instead of a shout.
Here’s what holding on has looked like for me in the hard seasons:
Tell God the truth. Not the Sunday version. The parking lot version. God I don’t understand this. I can’t feel You. I’m angry and I’m scared and I don’t know how to keep going. He can handle every word of that. He’s heard worse. And He’d rather have your honest mess than your polished performance.
Do the next small thing. Not a heroic leap of faith. Just the next thing. Get out of the car. Make the coffee. Open the Bible even if nothing happens when you do. Small faithful acts in the dark are still faithful acts.
Let someone in. You don’t have to perform for the people who love you. Find one person — just one — who you can tell the truth to. Carrying it alone makes it heavier than it has to be.
Remember what you know when you can’t feel what you believe. You may not be able to feel God’s presence right now. But you know things. You know He has been faithful before. You know His Word has proven true. You know He brought you through things that felt unsurvivable. Stand on what you know until you can feel what you believe again.
It Won’t Always Feel Like This
I can’t tell you when it will get better. I wish I could.
But I can tell you — with everything in me, from the other side of my own parking lots — that the faith that survives a season like this one comes out stronger than the faith that never had to fight for anything.
The God who felt absent was never actually gone.
He was in the parking lot with you the whole time.
And He is still there right now.
If you’re in a hard season right now and your faith feels like it’s barely holding on — my free 5-Day Spiritual Reset, The Road Back to Jesus, was written for exactly this moment. No guilt. No pressure. Just simple honest steps back to Jesus — free at the link below.
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